Sometimes I wonder not only what my own purpose on earth is, but more existentially, what the purpose of anything is. What are any of us, and what is anything doing here, anyway??? Other people seem to more easily understand their place in the world. That's nice for them. I work, sometimes I laugh, I have … Continue reading What am I doing here, anyway?
Today I choose not to be limited by others' views of me. There is a certain sense of entitlement some people have--that if they meet certain superficial standards then they're more worthy of love. It is comforting to them to see someone like myself, obese and *not* meeting those superficial standards, because they see me … Continue reading Hmmph…
I've been cycling lately between confidence and an enjoyable "okayness" with life and crying spells and negativity. I was doing well today until I found out that my grade of 91.5% on a recent essay assignment was significantly lower than the classmates who I spoke with today. I had been a little surprised when I … Continue reading Slipping into negative thinking.
I'm going though a period of my life in which my self-esteem is lower than it has ever been. I struggle tremendously with feelings of unworthiness. Sigh. 😦 I'm in graduate school right now, pursuing a Master's degree in social work. As part of the degree we have to do two practicums, or internships. I'm … Continue reading Oh, fear. Oh, self-defeating fear.