What am I doing here, anyway?

Sometimes I wonder not only what my own purpose on earth is, but more existentially, what the purpose of anything is. What are any of us, and what is anything doing here, anyway??? Other people seem to more easily understand their place in the world. That's nice for them. I work, sometimes I laugh, I have …

What is Solarpunk Love?

Applying solarpunk philosophy to my love life: I have recently realized the "one" I thought I was seeking, my utopian partner, was not the one for me. As Oscar Wilde suggests, I have followed the map to what I thought was a utopia, but upon landing here I have seen there is something further. There …

Hmmph…

Today I choose not to be limited by others' views of me. There is a certain sense of entitlement some people have--that if they meet certain superficial standards then they're more worthy of love. It is comforting to them to see someone like myself, obese and *not* meeting those superficial standards, because they see me …

Slipping into negative thinking.

I've been cycling lately between confidence and an enjoyable "okayness" with life and crying spells and negativity. I was doing well today until I found out that my grade of 91.5% on a recent essay assignment was significantly lower than the classmates who I spoke with today. I had been a little surprised when I …

Oh, fear. Oh, self-defeating fear.

I'm going though a period of my life in which my self-esteem is lower than it has ever been. I struggle tremendously with feelings of unworthiness. Sigh. 😦 I'm in graduate school right now,  pursuing a Master's degree in social work. As part of the degree we have to do two practicums, or internships. I'm …